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Pregnancy Clichés

Pregnancy

6 Jun

Yesterday I got a wild hair. I decided it was high time that I deep clean our refrigerator, you know, since we’ve lived here over three years and I have NEVER done it.

I know. I’m disgusted with myself too.

As I was filling two trash bags full with stuff that may or may not have expired in 2012, I noticed that our fridge contained not one, not two, but four jars of pickles. FOUR.

Clearly a pregnant woman lived in our house recently.

photo(1)

So cliché, but so true. Actually, in my opinion, pregnancy is just a bundle of rumors that you desperately pray are myths… and they all turn out to be valid. It’s the best.

For example:

1. “Pregnant women crave pickles and ice cream.”

That’s half true. I craved pretty much everything – as evidenced by the leftover tomato juice and pineapple juice I also found in my fridge. I distinctly remember sitting at the stoplight when I was pregnant, thinking I was going to die if I didn’t get home to some pickle rolls in the next 26 seconds.

Also, I ate more than three humans’ lifetime quota of McNuggets.

 

2. “Your feet will get bigger when you’re pregnant.”

True story. Since I wore flip flops for my entire pregnancy, I didn’t really notice this until after Dorothy was here. My 6.5’s somehow turned into 7’s… and now half of my shoes are too small. Fantastic.

 

3. “The worse the heartburn, the more hair your baby will have.”

I never had heartburn in my life until I was late into my pregnancy. Now I get heartburn from a granola bar, and my kid has a ton of hair.

I’d say this statement is accurate.

 

4. “You better sleep now, because once the baby is here you’ll never sleep again!”

I expected this one to mean something different. “Never,” was supposed to be, “until the baby sleeps through the night at 6 weeks old and then you’re golden.”

I used to sleep HARD. Like, thunderstorms had nothing on me. Now if Dorothy breathes the wrong way at the end of the hall, I’m wide awake. When we stay at my parents’ house, all three of us in the same room, I sleep in like 30 minute spurts. My kid is a loud sleeper.

 

5. “You’ll forget about the pain of pregnancy and childbirth.”

You may think that you’ll be the exception to the rule, but you won’t be.

I hated everything about my last two months of pregnancy – from the PUPPs, to the heartburn, to the constant uncomfort. My labor was hours and hours of excruciating back labor, and my delivery did not go as planned. C-section recovery = not a joke.

Until very recently, I had made the executive decision that Dorothy was going to be an only child.

IMG_2962

Photo by Ardent Owl Photography

But, Dot isn’t getting any smaller. On more than one occasion I’ve found myself looking fondly back on those early days of parenthood, and the sweet little baby we brought home. She was so snuggly… and now she’s like wrestling an orangutang.

I think I’ve officially forgotten the pain.

New executive decision: Dot will have siblings… someday. Don’t get too excited. 😉

 

What pregnancy clichés were true for you? Or were you a lucky B and actually were the exception to the rules? 😉

Linking up!

 

THE GOOD LIFE BLOG

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  1. Amber Stegner says

    June 6, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    I am thirteen weeks pregnant, and my cravings have so far been: peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, baconators, asparagus, and chicken sandwiches w/cheese. I still eat ice cream, as that is my favorite food, but not with the pickles. I don’t know if stress induced hives are a cliche, but they are NOT FUN!

    Reply
  2. Karli | September FARM says

    July 10, 2014 at 10:51 pm

    hey gal! first of all…the heartburn thing is false! i had the worst heartburn ever (and had never had it before) and my poor gal is nearly two and STILL bald. 🙂 now i’m pregnant with #2. heartburn all over again and i just know this one will be bald too.

    anyway…i am contacting people that linked up in the last 5 on friday linkup…that has since been put on hold for the summer. well…if you were interested, a friend of mine and i are starting it back up! the first one will be live this friday morning! prepare your post! 🙂 it’s going to be called “oh hey, friday!” it’ll be the exact same rules. write about five anythings. hope to see you there!

    karli
    http://farmerbell.blogspot.com

    Reply

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Hey there, I'm Samantha. Recovering SAHM, and aspiring competitive dance mom. I have a passion for travel, am known to say it like it is, and I most certainly do not have it all together. Currently on a journey toward self love and discovery. Join me. 2021 | Bloom

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Post-competition hangover is REAL at the Cotten ho Post-competition hangover is REAL at the Cotten house today! 🤪 I’m still teary-eyed over how grown up our babies looked on stage. 🥺 So, so proud of them and their @talent_factory_ Company teammates! #dancemom @iddancecomp

The Sanderson Sisters | Dorothy
🏆 Iconic Platinum, 1st Overall Junior Novice Duo/Trio 
***Special Award: Costume Award

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Cabana Cuties | Dorothy
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The Addams Family | Dorothy
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***Special Awards: Costume Award, Technique Award, Trendsetter Award
I bought a 2,000 piece puzzle thinking it would be I bought a 2,000 piece puzzle thinking it would be “fun.” 8 days later - with HOURS of help from @kadstewa, @saworkman2012, and @andrewni88 - I retire from puzzles forever. 😂😳😜
The Doc is in! 💜 We took a surprise trip to @ch The Doc is in! 💜 We took a surprise trip to @childrensmuseum last night to preview the new Doc McStuffins exhibit. Frances loved caring for the stuffed animals, and Dot is on her way to becoming a surgeon specializing  in toy dragons. Do you have doctors-in-training at your house? 🩺 The exhibit opens to the public TOMORROW, so don’t miss it! #attcm #childrensmuseum #docmcstuffins
We ate brunch in a traincar diner 🚂, explored S We ate brunch in a traincar diner 🚂, explored Salem 🧙‍♀️, froze our faces while wandering colonial forts and lighthouses on the Atlantic 🌊, and ended our New England weekend seeing this gorgeous girl finally marry her love in a 1901 stone mansion 👰🏻‍♀️. Who knew hiring Nikole as my assistant director in 2017 would lead to a friendship like this? 💛
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Have a magical day! ✨ #waltdisneyworld #magicki Have a magical day! ✨

#waltdisneyworld #magickingdom #springbreak #butdidyoudie
Post-competition hangover is REAL at the Cotten ho Post-competition hangover is REAL at the Cotten house today! 🤪 I’m still teary-eyed over how grown up our babies looked on stage. 🥺 So, so proud of them and their @talent_factory_ Company teammates! #dancemom @iddancecomp

The Sanderson Sisters | Dorothy
🏆 Iconic Platinum, 1st Overall Junior Novice Duo/Trio 
***Special Award: Costume Award

Sweet Scoops | Frances
🏆 Iconic Platinum, 3rd Overall Mini Novice Small Group 

Cabana Cuties | Dorothy
🏆 Iconic Platinum, 2nd Overall Junior Novice Small Group, 
***Special Award: Artistic Execution 

The Addams Family | Dorothy
🏆 Ultra Iconic (highest achievement), 2nd Overall Intermediate Teen Production
ID ICON BUZZER 🚨
***Special Awards: Costume Award, Technique Award, Trendsetter Award
I bought a 2,000 piece puzzle thinking it would be I bought a 2,000 piece puzzle thinking it would be “fun.” 8 days later - with HOURS of help from @kadstewa, @saworkman2012, and @andrewni88 - I retire from puzzles forever. 😂😳😜
The Doc is in! 💜 We took a surprise trip to @ch The Doc is in! 💜 We took a surprise trip to @childrensmuseum last night to preview the new Doc McStuffins exhibit. Frances loved caring for the stuffed animals, and Dot is on her way to becoming a surgeon specializing  in toy dragons. Do you have doctors-in-training at your house? 🩺 The exhibit opens to the public TOMORROW, so don’t miss it! #attcm #childrensmuseum #docmcstuffins
We ate brunch in a traincar diner 🚂, explored S We ate brunch in a traincar diner 🚂, explored Salem 🧙‍♀️, froze our faces while wandering colonial forts and lighthouses on the Atlantic 🌊, and ended our New England weekend seeing this gorgeous girl finally marry her love in a 1901 stone mansion 👰🏻‍♀️. Who knew hiring Nikole as my assistant director in 2017 would lead to a friendship like this? 💛
These. Three. 💃🕺💃 @talent_factory_ #tfadh These. Three. 💃🕺💃 @talent_factory_ #tfadholidayshowcase21
First holiday performance of the season with @tale First holiday performance of the season with @talent_factory_ Company! 👯‍♀️ #tfadcompany #dancemom
Dorothy got to attend @purduedanceteam Camp today Dorothy got to attend @purduedanceteam Camp today with some of her @talent_factory_ teammates! She was one of the youngest there, but with the most experience in her group. So proud of our girl! 💛🖤 #dancemom
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