I realize I have been entirely absent from this space recently. There’s no good reason. Sometimes life takes over, and I have little time and even less desire to write.
Let’s be honest, though. I actually do have the time. Most nights I sit and watch television alone, because my husband is playing video games in his office with random strangers. Or I’m texting with my bestie about wrinkle creams, This Is Us, and mom life while drinking a bit too much wine. Or I’m telling stories on Instagram because I like to pretend people want to hear about my boring day.
I have the time. I just don’t care anymore.
I don’t want to write the way I used to. So I avoid it.
I don’t read any of my former favorite blogs.* Nearly every one has turned superficial. Every blogger is a product reviewer now, or a brand rep, for the sake of free stuff. The words “Nordstrom Sale” are a surefire way to get me NOT to read. And if bloggers aren’t reviewing a product, they’re giving me the play-by-play of their weekend… or their kids… or their #OOTD… and I JUST DON’T CARE.
No one is unique.
It’s a rare occurrence these days when I feel a strong urge to write down what I’m thinking. And I’m suddenly passionate about not giving a flying F when it comes to the blogging industry.
Previously, I had goals to make this space productive. Lucrative. I wanted to make an income, however small it may be, off of Cotten Tales. For awhile, I was actually successful. I was getting paid advertising opportunities, and my readership was skyrocketing thanks to a few viral Stitch Fix pins. I was on my way to becoming half-legit in the blogging world… until I wasn’t. It’s not that I stopped getting opportunities – I still get invited to blogger events and sent product pitches every day, and I haven’t posted a single word in three months.
I stopped enjoying it. Writing what other people wanted me to write crushed my creativity. I lost my voice.
I actually do want to blog, but writing milestone updates and weekend recaps just isn’t my thing anymore. I want to write substance. I want my blog to be truthful, transparent, borderline abrasive, and 98 percent controversial. I don’t want to write what everyone else is writing. I want whatever I put into this space to make my readers think. I want them to relate with my feelings on a deeper level than, “Oh, my 13-month-old also isn’t walking. Bummer.”
I’ll be back. Slowly, but hopefully more thoughtful than before.
So, this is 29. The year I revive the blog, recapture my love for writing, and find my voice again. Stay tuned, friends.
*The only blog I read religiously is The Daily Tay. You should too. And Taylor, if I was honored enough for you to find my now nearly-defunct blog, you have it figured out. Kudos for keeping your space real, interesting and freaking hysterical. Send my love to Har.