Cotten Tales

The fabric of my life.

Mom Jeans | This Is 29

I have a birthday coming up. Guys, I have a love/hate relationship with my birthday. I love my birthday because it’s the best holiday of the year. I hate my birthday because it’s pretty much the only holiday of the year for me. That happens when you’re born three hours after Jesus. This year I’m […]

Life Dump.

Oh my God, guys. It was just pointed out to me that I haven’t posted a single thing in three weeks. THREE WEEKS. Who brought it to my attention? Bloglovin. Freaking Bloglovin put a little “21d” next to my last post. Like, “Yo. Cotten Tales. Write something.” And then Facebook didn’t want to be outdone, […]

Why Blogging Is Hard | Friday Five

+ I have approximately one hour per day where no one is touching me. Usually this is from 10-11 p.m. after both girls are asleep and I’ve kicked the cat out to the garage. Do I want to go to bed before 11 p.m.? Absolutely. But if I don’t give myself that hour to just […]

Big Sister Gift | #MomFail

So, #MomFail time. I had planned for Baby C2 to “bring” Dorothy a gift to the hospital. Kind of like a, “Hi there! I’m not so bad! Please like me! Don’t freak out, big sister!” thing. And for the last month or so, I’ve pretty much stressed about this. I mean, what do you get a […]

How To Dye Easter Eggs With A Toddler

Don’t. The answer is, “don’t.” You know that look of horror 98 percent of kids have when they have to sit on some guy wearing a rabbit costume’s lap at the mall? That’s what I looked like on the inside while dying eggs with Dorothy. “But every two year old needs that 3.5 minutes of Easter […]

It’s Just You & Me.

My second (and more than likely, final) pregnancy has been fascinating. Yes, it’s pretty common knowledge that no two pregnancies are the same – even with the same mother. Symptoms you have with your first may or may not appear with your second. Your first baby could be a week past their due date, and […]

Random Monday Rant

So, my house eats things. Oh hey, I’m back! Like, seriously, I can’t even tell you how many things have just magically disappeared since we moved here. A whole box of my high school guard contest videos has just vanished. The Rainbow Fish print that used to be in Dorothy’s nursery is still missing. Who […]

Random thoughts of a second time mom…

Who in the hell let me buy so many newborn-sized clothes?! No, really. What made me think I needed so many tiny onesies for my 8 pounder? Did she even wear these? Did I really buy all of this? Was I on drugs? We’re idiots. Couldn’t we at least have tried to have kids in the […]

Please be a phase.

Please be a phase. My lovely two-year-old daughter has not napped… in nearly two weeks. She just stopped. Cold turkey. Done. Forget the 2-3 hours I have come to count on to get any sort of work done. Life, as I knew it, is over. Please, please be a phase. I still try my best, […]

Embracing Life

I donated all of my work clothes. All of them. My dress pants are now being sold at Goodwill, most of my pencil skirts and suit jackets are gone, and I currently don’t have any button-down shirts in my possession. If I got called for a true job interview tomorrow, I would actually have nothing […]