• Inquiries
  • About
  • Travel With Me
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Bloglovin
    • LinkedIn
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Cotten Tales

  • MY GIRLS
    • DOROTHY
    • FRANCES
  • MOCO FIXER
  • STITCH FIX

Downward Dog

Rants

29 Jan

Confession: I’m kind of an exercisephobic. I know. Exercisephobic is not a word. Hear me out anyway.

This week I tried yoga, and I was actually really excited about it. Yoga just looks cool. It seems like a good workout without being so… terrible. Plus, I was ecstatic to have a whole hour to myself in the evening (you know, 30 minutes of yoga and 30 minutes to shower). Hallelujah.

I have several events in the coming months for which I need to lose like 20 lbs. of baby weight. Not only do I need to look awesome in a bridesmaid dress this summer, I have to wear a swimsuit in Las Vegas for a bachelor/bachelorette party in which both the bride and groom are personal trainers. No pressure.

And so, I tried yoga. And I failed miserably.

fd5140eda37fd1143b9d9d0ad1cc02db
I am completely out of shape and have ZERO abdominal muscles due to my c-section, and my spine pretty much does not allow me to do anything other than stand with my arms above my head or lay on the floor. Not only did I finish my session without a drop of sweat, but I felt completely defeated.

I’m just an exercise failure. And it’s really frustrating.

I haven’t always been this way. In fact, I used to consider myself semi-athletic. I played basketball through middle school, and even had a year of insanity and ran varsity cross country my freshman year in high school. I was the captain of the color guard and winter guard all throughout high school, which is above and beyond when it comes to flexibility, strength and artistry.

I mean, check me out (circa 2006).

224043_505182388698_4173_n

I’m convinced my husband married me based only on what my guns looked like in high school.

230168_505182398678_118_n

Now days, if I even think about touching my toes I throw my back out.

In college, I was on the university dance team for one season. I’m pretty sure that’s the only exercise I got the entire time. In fact, I remember going to my required gym class in college to get the attendance points, and then walking out the door to breakfast when everyone else went down to the treadmills. UIndy has an amazing waffle bar. Who could blame me?

Before I got pregnant, I got a crazy hair and decided to walk the OneAmerica 500 Festival Mini-Marathon. For those of you that know me, the fact that I not only signed up to walk 13.1 miles, but actually joined a gym to train, is shocking. Like I said, a total wild hair.

I thought I was going to die between miles 8 and 13, but I finished. And I’m damn proud of myself. But I can almost say with 100 percent confidence that this was the last time that I worked out, which is sad.

405110_654021518888_1303467492_n

I have to include a picture to prove that I actually did this.

So, I need your help.  I need suggestions for an exercise program/routine that meets the following requirements:

1. Doesn’t take a lot of time (because Lord knows I don’t have time for anything right now)
2. Can be done in my home
3. Accommodates my spine, and its lack of flexibility
4. Will make my stomach look kickass in a bikini… stretch marks and all

Got it? GO! Suggest something! Leave me a note in the comments. Puhleez. I beg of you.

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

5 Comments

Previous Post: « Five on Friday
Next Post: 3 »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kate says

    January 29, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    Hey Samantha! I managed to lose 40 pounds after having Van and this is how I did it: Mom’s Into Fitness: http://www.amazon.com/Lindsay-Brins-Postnatal-Boot-Fitness/dp/B000EWD7TU.
    It’s not easy, but it’s fast and it works. There are several 10-minute intervals to choose from on the DVD and several 3-minute abdominal exercises to choose from as well. So what I did was a 3-minute warm-up, two 3-minute abdominal exercises, two 10-minute intervals (that will make you sweat like a beast) and a 3-minute cool-down. 32 minutes and you’re done. It took me about three or four months and I was as close as I was ever going to be to my old self (unfortunately, you’ll never be 100 percent back to normal. Accept this fact now and you feel much better about yourself moving forward). As for your back, Pilates has always done the trick for me. (Side note: I got in a horrible car accident when I was 18 and my back is forever damaged. Pilates is the ONLY thing that has ever made me feel better. Best stretch ever.) And although it may seem a bit dated now, I’ve used this DVD since college and it’s still available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Winsor-Pilates-Workout-Accelerated-Sculpting/dp/B00077BD7A/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1391027589&sr=1-1&keywords=windsor+pilates. Another trick? Walk. Walk everywhere. It will help too. And drinking lots and lots of water. You’ll get there. And I have no doubt you already look pretty darn good already 🙂

    Reply
    • Samantha Cotten says

      January 29, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      Kate – You are amazing. Purchasing the Post-Natal Boot Camp now! Hopefully I have the same results as you!

      Reply
      • Kate says

        January 29, 2014 at 3:48 pm

        You will also need to purchase a couple sets of weights. I started with three and five-pound weights and eventually moved up to five and eight-pound weights. Again, it’s tough and you will hate that Lindsay Brin with every ounce of your being, but it works. Also, since you’ve never exercised regularly, DO NOT be too hard on yourself if you don’t see results within a week. YOU WILL GET THERE! Just take your time. Good luck!

        Reply
  2. Lauren says

    January 29, 2014 at 4:24 pm

    Thank you for posting this, Samantha! I’ve been feeling the same since Max was born. What new mom actually has time to exercise?! Thanks for the tips, Kate! Sounds like something that could fit into my schedule.

    Reply
  3. Amanda says

    January 29, 2014 at 5:08 pm

    Too bad I can’t quit my job and train you and cook you delicious healthy food all day!! I could work you out on the weekends 🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Hey there, I'm Samantha. Recovering SAHM, and aspiring competitive dance mom. I have a passion for travel, am known to say it like it is, and I most certainly do not have it all together. Currently on a journey toward self love and discovery. Join me. 2021 | Bloom

Latest from Instagram

Definitely not over the @iddancecomp photos from l Definitely not over the @iddancecomp photos from last weekend. 💜🕺
Just like that, Biddy Ball is over. 😢 We’re S Just like that, Biddy Ball is over. 😢 We’re SO proud of Frances for trying something new, developing as a player each week, and even scoring her first basket in the last minute of her last game! 🏀 We’ll miss our Tuesday and Thursday night games, until next year! #francesbelle
“Play it again, play it again, play it again… “Play it again, play it again, play it again… “ 🎶
Raising ballers. 🏀 Raising ballers. 🏀
That’s a wrap on @artisticdanceexchange! Dorothy That’s a wrap on @artisticdanceexchange! Dorothy received a scholarship toward the national convention in Orlando this summer, and was invited to perform in the junior opening number. 

Long drives, early mornings, and endless hours taking residence in hotel lobbies with my fellow dance parents. We survived Convention month - on to Competition season!
Another weekend, another dance convention. 🩰 Do Another weekend, another dance convention. 🩰 Dorothy had a blast learning in the @activateyourartistry Pre-Pro level, dancing with middle schoolers. One more convention to go… this month. 😜
Follow on Instagram

Follow Me

  • Bloglovin
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Get $25 for Your Stitch Fix!

Stitch Fix

Categories

  • MY GIRLS
  • MOCO FIXER
  • STITCH FIX
Definitely not over the @iddancecomp photos from l Definitely not over the @iddancecomp photos from last weekend. 💜🕺
Just like that, Biddy Ball is over. 😢 We’re S Just like that, Biddy Ball is over. 😢 We’re SO proud of Frances for trying something new, developing as a player each week, and even scoring her first basket in the last minute of her last game! 🏀 We’ll miss our Tuesday and Thursday night games, until next year! #francesbelle
“Play it again, play it again, play it again… “Play it again, play it again, play it again… “ 🎶
Raising ballers. 🏀 Raising ballers. 🏀
That’s a wrap on @artisticdanceexchange! Dorothy That’s a wrap on @artisticdanceexchange! Dorothy received a scholarship toward the national convention in Orlando this summer, and was invited to perform in the junior opening number. 

Long drives, early mornings, and endless hours taking residence in hotel lobbies with my fellow dance parents. We survived Convention month - on to Competition season!
Another weekend, another dance convention. 🩰 Do Another weekend, another dance convention. 🩰 Dorothy had a blast learning in the @activateyourartistry Pre-Pro level, dancing with middle schoolers. One more convention to go… this month. 😜
Natural. Talent. 😂 #biddyball #basketball #funn Natural. Talent. 😂 #biddyball #basketball #funny
Day 1 of @shine_dance_convention! Intensives in Br Day 1 of @shine_dance_convention! Intensives in Broadway Jazz, Lyrical/Contemporary, Hip Hop, Jazz and Tap, plus a Masquerade Ball to end the night. 

We’re tired. 😅
Merry Christmas Eve from the Cotten sisters! ❄️ #dbunny #francesbelle
"Today’s special moments are tomorrow’s memori "Today’s special moments are tomorrow’s memories." —Genie, Aladdin 💙

Copyright © 2023 · Cotten Tales & Samantha Cotten

 

Loading Comments...