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Family· Rants

3 Aug

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When I quit my job to spend my days raising my daughter, I knew what I was signing up for. SAHM life is the most frustrating, yet rewarding position I’ve ever held. There are days when I love every moment with my baby, and other when I seriously consider running away and abandoning my personal chaos.

It’s so hard, but so worth it.

Since my husband and I decided to list our home and move (most likely) back to our small hometown, I have felt an immense amount of stress. Staging my home, packing up a 9 month old for showings (which always happen to be at nap time), and obsessing over what the potential buyers are thinking, is only half the battle.

My husband has the blessing of working from home, which in turns means he can live practically anywhere (with high-speed internet, of course). Moving won’t make much of a difference in his life. Me, on the other hand… this decision impacts my entire future.

These days I find myself in a constant inner debate over what lies next for me. Major life decisions need to be addressed, and I’m feeling bombarded.

Will I ever go back to work?
If yes, when?
What career options are there for me in Crawfordsville?
Am I willing to commute again?
Will anyone hire me with this gap on my resume?
How many kids do we want to have?
When do we start trying again?
Will I be a SAHM to all of them?

The answer to all of the above? I don’t know.

And that kind of scares me.

In the process of contemplating my entire life plan, I’ve done a terrible job at maintaining my cool. I’m bitchy, tense and could have a panic attack at any moment. This mixes well with a sick baby who wakes up every three hours during the night because her poor sore throat (sarcasm). Remember that running away? That was my week.

But today, as I laid on a blanket in my backyard and basked in the sunshine with my little family, I decided to stop trying to map out my next 30 years. I decided to stop trying so hard to know every little detail of what’s coming up next. What happens is out of my control. As long as my husband and daughter are healthy and happy, everything will be just fine.

Plus, my blood pressure can’t handle much more of this.

The future is exciting. All I have to do is embrace it.

 

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  1. Val@ChickenScratch says

    August 4, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    Ahhhh I totally get like 90% of what you are talking about. Showings are ALWAYS at nap time….and choosing the “right” place to live is near impossible. I LOOOOOVE being a SAHM mom but I also find myself obsessing over “would I go back some day” and “what in the world would I do”…..I also have to remind myself to just worry about today and this season of life. Easier said then done. But no worries things will work themselves out. They always do. Have a glass of wine and relax mama!!

    Reply
  2. Adrian says

    August 5, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    Great post! I am the same way. The future kind of scares me because I want to know it all. But I’m learning to back off… slowly but surely. I need to just embrace it as well. This post was a good reminder.

    Reply

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Hey there, I'm Samantha. Recovering SAHM, and aspiring competitive dance mom. I have a passion for travel, am known to say it like it is, and I most certainly do not have it all together. Currently on a journey toward self love and discovery. Join me. 2021 | Bloom

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This is the difference a year makes. ⬇️ 30 l This is the difference a year makes. 

⬇️ 30 lbs. ⬆️ Healthy habits. ⬇️ 4 in. of hair. ⬆️ Strength. ➕ A tattoo & a ton of self love. 

I never knew I could be this person. I’m not super athletic. I have never dieted or counted calories. I never considered myself or my health. I always have watched other women make big physical changes in their lives, but I have never felt like I was capable to do the same.

If you’re reading this, and feel the same way I used to, trust me. 

You can. 💜

(1. January 2020, 2. June 2020 (100 rides), 3. January 2021 (200 rides))

#empoweringwomen #peloton #pelotonweightloss #pelotonbike #loveyourself #fitness #fitnessjourney #cottentales #blogger #momofgirls #momsofinstagram #momblogger #lifestyleblogger #weightlossjourney #weightlosstransformation #selfcare #selflove #selflovejourney #pelotonmom #pelotoncommunity #lovesquad #boocrew #uncomfortable #bloom
NEW POST: What I've Found in the Dark Call it cli NEW POST: What I've Found in the Dark

Call it cliche, but I have a word to live by this year. If I'm being honest, it actually means a lot to me. I even have some semblance of "resolutions," which are really just mantras I plan to manifest into reality... and so far I think it's working.

What's your word for 2021? What are your goals, mantras, or resolutions for this year? Let me know in the comments. 🌸 Link in bio.

#cottentales #lifestyleblogger #mommyblogger #travelblogger #newyear #2021 #quitlikeawoman #momofgirls #blogger #bloggersofinstagram #momsofinstagram #bloom #bloomwhereyouareplanted #peloton #pelotonbike #resolutions #mantra #healthyhabits #newpost #blogging
L: 12/26/2019, aka my 32nd birthday R: 01/08/2021, L: 12/26/2019, aka my 32nd birthday
R: 01/08/2021, or today. 

My husband took that first photo. He was being nice, and trying to celebrate my birthday. I never told him I hated it. I looked heavy, because I was. My skin was terrible - red, broken out, etc. I was anxious, and stressed (ha! The days before 2020!), and it very obviously showed.

Today I’m in the best shape since high school, which blows my mind. I am actively working every day on my skincare, my mental health, and my reactions. Do I mess up? All the time. This week even, I made major mistakes that affect more than just myself. It’s a constant work, but it’s worth doing. 

I see growth. I see a woman who is starting to feel uncomfortable, and that’s a good thing. Whatever goals you have, or path you’re attempting to journey this year, keep going. Don’t let setbacks end your fight. You can do this. 💪🏻

(Also, both daughters saw me make this image this morning. Both thought I was pregnant in the photo on the left. I definitely was not.😳)

#selflove #selfcare #weightlossjourney #weightlosstransformation #peloton #pelotonmoms #cottentales #blogger #lifestyleblogger #travelblogger #momsofinstagram #momofgirls #bloom #keepgoing #pelotonweightloss #loveyourself
Two years ago, Santa followed us to Eleuthera. Las Two years ago, Santa followed us to Eleuthera. Last year, we danced our way to 2020 on the island. Christmas just doesn’t feel the same this year without the ocean. 🌊

#whitesandchristmas #eleuthera #eleutherabahamas #bahamas #christmas #ocean #momofgirls #mommyblog #lifestyleblog #travelblogger #cottentales
Mentally, I’m here. 🌊 #eleuthera #bahamas # Mentally, I’m here. 🌊 

#eleuthera #bahamas #travelblogger #lifestyleblogger #momblogger #cottentales #travel #nye2019
This is 100 @onepeloton rides vs. 178. This is 159 This is 100 @onepeloton rides vs. 178. This is 159 lbs. vs. 129 lbs. This is broken and lost vs. strong and healing. 

I was so proud of myself in that first photo, and I’m still proud of that Samantha. Steps to a better you will slowly become strides. Thanks to her, now I’m taking flight. ❤️ #selflove #selfcare #peloton #weightlossjourney #weightlosstransformation #pelotonweightloss #pelotonmom #momofgirls #lifestyleblogger #momsofinstagram #momblogger #loveyourself #cottentales
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This is the difference a year makes. ⬇️ 30 l This is the difference a year makes. 

⬇️ 30 lbs. ⬆️ Healthy habits. ⬇️ 4 in. of hair. ⬆️ Strength. ➕ A tattoo & a ton of self love. 

I never knew I could be this person. I’m not super athletic. I have never dieted or counted calories. I never considered myself or my health. I always have watched other women make big physical changes in their lives, but I have never felt like I was capable to do the same.

If you’re reading this, and feel the same way I used to, trust me. 

You can. 💜

(1. January 2020, 2. June 2020 (100 rides), 3. January 2021 (200 rides))

#empoweringwomen #peloton #pelotonweightloss #pelotonbike #loveyourself #fitness #fitnessjourney #cottentales #blogger #momofgirls #momsofinstagram #momblogger #lifestyleblogger #weightlossjourney #weightlosstransformation #selfcare #selflove #selflovejourney #pelotonmom #pelotoncommunity #lovesquad #boocrew #uncomfortable #bloom
NEW POST: What I've Found in the Dark Call it cli NEW POST: What I've Found in the Dark

Call it cliche, but I have a word to live by this year. If I'm being honest, it actually means a lot to me. I even have some semblance of "resolutions," which are really just mantras I plan to manifest into reality... and so far I think it's working.

What's your word for 2021? What are your goals, mantras, or resolutions for this year? Let me know in the comments. 🌸 Link in bio.

#cottentales #lifestyleblogger #mommyblogger #travelblogger #newyear #2021 #quitlikeawoman #momofgirls #blogger #bloggersofinstagram #momsofinstagram #bloom #bloomwhereyouareplanted #peloton #pelotonbike #resolutions #mantra #healthyhabits #newpost #blogging
L: 12/26/2019, aka my 32nd birthday R: 01/08/2021, L: 12/26/2019, aka my 32nd birthday
R: 01/08/2021, or today. 

My husband took that first photo. He was being nice, and trying to celebrate my birthday. I never told him I hated it. I looked heavy, because I was. My skin was terrible - red, broken out, etc. I was anxious, and stressed (ha! The days before 2020!), and it very obviously showed.

Today I’m in the best shape since high school, which blows my mind. I am actively working every day on my skincare, my mental health, and my reactions. Do I mess up? All the time. This week even, I made major mistakes that affect more than just myself. It’s a constant work, but it’s worth doing. 

I see growth. I see a woman who is starting to feel uncomfortable, and that’s a good thing. Whatever goals you have, or path you’re attempting to journey this year, keep going. Don’t let setbacks end your fight. You can do this. 💪🏻

(Also, both daughters saw me make this image this morning. Both thought I was pregnant in the photo on the left. I definitely was not.😳)

#selflove #selfcare #weightlossjourney #weightlosstransformation #peloton #pelotonmoms #cottentales #blogger #lifestyleblogger #travelblogger #momsofinstagram #momofgirls #bloom #keepgoing #pelotonweightloss #loveyourself
Two years ago, Santa followed us to Eleuthera. Las Two years ago, Santa followed us to Eleuthera. Last year, we danced our way to 2020 on the island. Christmas just doesn’t feel the same this year without the ocean. 🌊

#whitesandchristmas #eleuthera #eleutherabahamas #bahamas #christmas #ocean #momofgirls #mommyblog #lifestyleblog #travelblogger #cottentales
Mentally, I’m here. 🌊 #eleuthera #bahamas # Mentally, I’m here. 🌊 

#eleuthera #bahamas #travelblogger #lifestyleblogger #momblogger #cottentales #travel #nye2019
This is 100 @onepeloton rides vs. 178. This is 159 This is 100 @onepeloton rides vs. 178. This is 159 lbs. vs. 129 lbs. This is broken and lost vs. strong and healing. 

I was so proud of myself in that first photo, and I’m still proud of that Samantha. Steps to a better you will slowly become strides. Thanks to her, now I’m taking flight. ❤️ #selflove #selfcare #peloton #weightlossjourney #weightlosstransformation #pelotonweightloss #pelotonmom #momofgirls #lifestyleblogger #momsofinstagram #momblogger #loveyourself #cottentales
NEW POST: Rebranding Samantha I’m focusing a lo NEW POST: Rebranding Samantha

I’m focusing a lot of effort on self love and self discovery right now. But, just how am I perceived by the people around me? Audience determines your brand - what qualities are you projecting, and do they match how you want to be seen? Link in bio. 

#cottentales #personalbranding #rebranding #blogger #lifestyleblogger #mommyblogger #momofgirls #selflove #selfdiscovery #momblogger #travelblogger
I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for alway I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living,
My baby you’ll be. ❤️

My baby turns 7 today, which feels unbelievable in many ways. Dorothy Laura, you make me so proud to be your mommy. 

#dbunny #cottentales #lifestyleblogger #momsofinstagram #momblogger #momofgirls #birthday #7yearsold #firstborn
If I have a life half as full as my grandfather’ If I have a life half as full as my grandfather’s, it will be enough. 

We lost 94 years of memories today, and even though we knew this day was coming it doesn’t make it easier. I’m just so glad my girls could know and love their Papaw Great. 

RIP, Upe. 💛
Have courage, and be kind. ✨ #waltdisneyworld # Have courage, and be kind. ✨

#waltdisneyworld #magickingdom #cinderella #cottentales #cottensisters #lifestyleblogger #momsofinstagram #momblogger #momofgirls #travelblogger #disneysmmc #fallbreak2020 #spontaneous

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