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Family· Rants

3 Aug

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When I quit my job to spend my days raising my daughter, I knew what I was signing up for. SAHM life is the most frustrating, yet rewarding position I’ve ever held. There are days when I love every moment with my baby, and other when I seriously consider running away and abandoning my personal chaos.

It’s so hard, but so worth it.

Since my husband and I decided to list our home and move (most likely) back to our small hometown, I have felt an immense amount of stress. Staging my home, packing up a 9 month old for showings (which always happen to be at nap time), and obsessing over what the potential buyers are thinking, is only half the battle.

My husband has the blessing of working from home, which in turns means he can live practically anywhere (with high-speed internet, of course). Moving won’t make much of a difference in his life. Me, on the other hand… this decision impacts my entire future.

These days I find myself in a constant inner debate over what lies next for me. Major life decisions need to be addressed, and I’m feeling bombarded.

Will I ever go back to work?
If yes, when?
What career options are there for me in Crawfordsville?
Am I willing to commute again?
Will anyone hire me with this gap on my resume?
How many kids do we want to have?
When do we start trying again?
Will I be a SAHM to all of them?

The answer to all of the above? I don’t know.

And that kind of scares me.

In the process of contemplating my entire life plan, I’ve done a terrible job at maintaining my cool. I’m bitchy, tense and could have a panic attack at any moment. This mixes well with a sick baby who wakes up every three hours during the night because her poor sore throat (sarcasm). Remember that running away? That was my week.

But today, as I laid on a blanket in my backyard and basked in the sunshine with my little family, I decided to stop trying to map out my next 30 years. I decided to stop trying so hard to know every little detail of what’s coming up next. What happens is out of my control. As long as my husband and daughter are healthy and happy, everything will be just fine.

Plus, my blood pressure can’t handle much more of this.

The future is exciting. All I have to do is embrace it.

 

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  1. Val@ChickenScratch says

    August 4, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    Ahhhh I totally get like 90% of what you are talking about. Showings are ALWAYS at nap time….and choosing the “right” place to live is near impossible. I LOOOOOVE being a SAHM mom but I also find myself obsessing over “would I go back some day” and “what in the world would I do”…..I also have to remind myself to just worry about today and this season of life. Easier said then done. But no worries things will work themselves out. They always do. Have a glass of wine and relax mama!!

    Reply
  2. Adrian says

    August 5, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    Great post! I am the same way. The future kind of scares me because I want to know it all. But I’m learning to back off… slowly but surely. I need to just embrace it as well. This post was a good reminder.

    Reply

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Hey there, I'm Samantha. Recovering SAHM, and aspiring competitive dance mom. I have a passion for travel, am known to say it like it is, and I most certainly do not have it all together. Currently on a journey toward self love and discovery. Join me. 2021 | Bloom

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… we have so many dances, they don’t all fit i … we have so many dances, they don’t all fit into one Insta post. 😝

Frances | 2022
Mini Company, Tap, Jazz, Ballet & Acro
Am I even a real dance mom if I don’t post all o Am I even a real dance mom if I don’t post all of our recital photos? 

Dorothy | 2022
Lyrical, Production, Trio, Small Group, Tap, Jazz, Ballet & Acro
💜❤️🧡💛 💜❤️🧡💛
“Mom, will I look different when I’m 6?” Oh “Mom, will I look different when I’m 6?”

Oh, sweet Frances Belle. 🥹 Happiest of birthdays to our baby girl. 💜
Have a magical day! ✨ #waltdisneyworld #magicki Have a magical day! ✨

#waltdisneyworld #magickingdom #springbreak #butdidyoudie
Post-competition hangover is REAL at the Cotten ho Post-competition hangover is REAL at the Cotten house today! 🤪 I’m still teary-eyed over how grown up our babies looked on stage. 🥺 So, so proud of them and their @talent_factory_ Company teammates! #dancemom @iddancecomp

The Sanderson Sisters | Dorothy
🏆 Iconic Platinum, 1st Overall Junior Novice Duo/Trio 
***Special Award: Costume Award

Sweet Scoops | Frances
🏆 Iconic Platinum, 3rd Overall Mini Novice Small Group 

Cabana Cuties | Dorothy
🏆 Iconic Platinum, 2nd Overall Junior Novice Small Group, 
***Special Award: Artistic Execution 

The Addams Family | Dorothy
🏆 Ultra Iconic (highest achievement), 2nd Overall Intermediate Teen Production
ID ICON BUZZER 🚨
***Special Awards: Costume Award, Technique Award, Trendsetter Award
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