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The “Formidable 14 Months”

Rants

19 Jan
Screen Shot 2015-01-19 at 7.32.44 PM

I’m sorry I’m finished cleaning the floors?

 

I know about the “Terrible Two’s.”

I’ve been warned about the “Threenager” phase.

I lived with me and my two sisters as teenagers, so I’m bracing myself for that phase of parenthood a decade in advance.

But no one, not one of you, gave me the insider info about what I’m calling the “Frightening 14 months.” Or maybe the “Fantastic Fit-Throwing 14 months.” Ooo, even better, the “Formidable 14 months.”

Whatever it is, we’re there. Thank you, thesaurus.

Not sure if you’ve arrived at this wonderfully challenging stage? Here’s five characteristics you will notice:

1. Huge, ugly, earth shattering, “the world is ending” meltdowns. They come out of nowhere, and can be about anything from not getting a third packet of “ooo ooo’s” (aka Curious George fruit snacks), to me putting the vaccuum away. Toddlers are bi-polar.

2. Look around. Does it look like a bomb went off in your home? You’re there. I mean, I picked up everything from old bibs, books, bottle parts, a George Foreman grease tray, numerous headbands, a giant box and ~3,000 stuffed animals in our living room today. All of that and more has returned. What’s the point?

3. Opinions. My kid can barely talk, but she can tell me what shirt she wants to wear in the morning (followed by No. 1 when I say, “no, that shirt is a size 9 mo and you’re a gigantic 2T”). I’m in for it.

4. “Alligator Death Roll.” My daughter is literally half of my height… at 14 months old. So when she goes stiff as a board and begins to fight me when I’m trying to change her diaper? It’s like WWE up in here.

5. You’ll never see it. Because what’s awesome? She only acts like a complete and total terror for me. I love my kid more than anything, but I’m scared by her ability to already “put on a show.”

And just when I start feeling like I wasn’t cut out for this motherhood gig, she does something that melts my heart. Something that makes me forgive her for the last two hours of whining.

She’ll stop playing, walk up to me, and give me the sweetest open-mouthed kiss (gotta work on that, girl).

Or she’ll sit next to me on the fireplace hearth, and mimic my movements (down to the iPhone texting) like such a big kid.

Sometimes, she cracks herself up so good that she gets the hiccups… and it’s adorable.

*sigh*…kids. Making my life hard since 2013.

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Hey there, I'm Samantha. Recovering SAHM, and aspiring competitive dance mom. I have a passion for travel, am known to say it like it is, and I most certainly do not have it all together. Currently on a journey toward self love and discovery. Join me. 2021 | Bloom

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Have a magical day! ✨ #waltdisneyworld #magicki Have a magical day! ✨

#waltdisneyworld #magickingdom #springbreak #butdidyoudie
Post-competition hangover is REAL at the Cotten ho Post-competition hangover is REAL at the Cotten house today! πŸ€ͺ I’m still teary-eyed over how grown up our babies looked on stage. πŸ₯Ί So, so proud of them and their @talent_factory_ Company teammates! #dancemom @iddancecomp

The Sanderson Sisters | Dorothy
πŸ† Iconic Platinum, 1st Overall Junior Novice Duo/Trio 
***Special Award: Costume Award

Sweet Scoops | Frances
πŸ† Iconic Platinum, 3rd Overall Mini Novice Small Group 

Cabana Cuties | Dorothy
πŸ† Iconic Platinum, 2nd Overall Junior Novice Small Group, 
***Special Award: Artistic Execution 

The Addams Family | Dorothy
πŸ† Ultra Iconic (highest achievement), 2nd Overall Intermediate Teen Production
ID ICON BUZZER 🚨
***Special Awards: Costume Award, Technique Award, Trendsetter Award
I bought a 2,000 piece puzzle thinking it would be I bought a 2,000 piece puzzle thinking it would be β€œfun.” 8 days later - with HOURS of help from @kadstewa, @saworkman2012, and @andrewni88 - I retire from puzzles forever. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜³πŸ˜œ
The Doc is in! πŸ’œ We took a surprise trip to @ch The Doc is in! πŸ’œ We took a surprise trip to @childrensmuseum last night to preview the new Doc McStuffins exhibit. Frances loved caring for the stuffed animals, and Dot is on her way to becoming a surgeon specializing  in toy dragons. Do you have doctors-in-training at your house? 🩺 The exhibit opens to the public TOMORROW, so don’t miss it! #attcm #childrensmuseum #docmcstuffins
We ate brunch in a traincar diner πŸš‚, explored S We ate brunch in a traincar diner πŸš‚, explored Salem πŸ§™β€β™€οΈ, froze our faces while wandering colonial forts and lighthouses on the Atlantic 🌊, and ended our New England weekend seeing this gorgeous girl finally marry her love in a 1901 stone mansion πŸ‘°πŸ»β€β™€οΈ. Who knew hiring Nikole as my assistant director in 2017 would lead to a friendship like this? πŸ’›
These. Three. πŸ’ƒπŸ•ΊπŸ’ƒ @talent_factory_ #tfadh These. Three. πŸ’ƒπŸ•ΊπŸ’ƒ @talent_factory_ #tfadholidayshowcase21
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