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I’m not ashamed.

Pregnancy· Rants

21 Apr

2_family1-6_final

Did you know that April is Cesarean Awareness Month?

I didn’t either.

I guess since every other day is some sort of international pancake day, or “post a photo of your siblings on Facebook” day, or some obscure hashtag (#mcm, #wcw, #tbt, #fbf, #selfiesaturday, and on and on), I shouldn’t be surprised that there is a whole month dedicated to the millions of women who gave birth via c-section.

Except I am. Because to me, having a Cesarean Awareness Month at all implies that there is some sort of shame in having a scar.

Obviously that’s not the goal of the awareness campaign. As a former public relations professional, I can see the intended messaging and the target audience. But, as someone who gave birth via c-section, I can’t help but feel that the overall talking point is, “If you’ve had a cesarean, get educated so that you can have a VBAC next time.”

As if my c-section doesn’t count as birth.

DSC_0125

I planned a natural, vaginal birth. I didn’t get a natural, vaginal birth. I don’t feel robbed of any experience, nor do I feel that my doctors pressured me into a cesarean. Even with my unplanned surgery, I still had a baby at the end of the day. The goal was met, and everyone was healthy.

One third of births in the U.S. are via c-section, yet this negative stigma still remains. I understand that some mothers feel pressure from their doctors to have a c-section for convenience, or to avoid malpractice, or for the hospital’s financial benefit. I understand some women feel cheated out of having a natural birth. I even understand those moms who never feel a contraction, and are shamed for taking the “easy way out.” What I don’t understand is what is so wrong with the way my daughter entered the world?

Nothing. There is nothing wrong with a cesarean.

{ Side note: EASY WAY OUT?! Hello!? A c-section is major surgery. I couldn’t even move for three days after giving birth for fear of my guts spilling out. Even the women with scheduled c-sections are not getting an easy way out. There has never been an EASY nine month pregnancy, and there has never been an EASY childbirth – regardless of the way it happens. }

I read this incredible article the other day, Three Truths About C-Section Mamas. It’s beautiful and real, and gives empowerment to women who have had a cesarean. This is the kind of awareness we need more of.

Because c-section mommas feel. They have emotions and thoughts that mimic all mothers before them.

Because c-section mommas have scars. I’m talking stretch marks, flabby abs and the fact that my formerly curly hair is now a limp wave at best. I’m a warrior, damn it.

Because c-section mommas are still mommas. I have the destructive, sticky, screeching toddler who refuses to nap to prove it.

Cesarean, vaginal, induced, natural, epidural or not – we’re all in this together. Forget the shame, and use that energy to love the little human your body miraculously created.

I am not ashamed.

—

end rant.

 

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  1. Amber says

    April 21, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    First off, I had no idea there was a month dedicated to cesarean awearness! Secondly, I love you for writing this. Sometimes things don’t go as “planned” but at the end of the delivery (whatever that may mean for you) you have this beautiful babe to love. If there is ever a second baby Rhine I’ll have a “plan” (because I don’t know how not to plan) and if I have another c-section I’ll know I didn’t take, get, care or believe that I got “the easy way out”! Mommas no matter how your “plan” unfolds remember to be proud that your body created, carried and will care for your little one. And if anyone disagrees they suck.

    Reply
  2. Heather Hammel says

    April 22, 2015 at 6:30 am

    My step sister actually wrote about this on her Facebook the other day because she had a c-section and is proud of it. She has twin boys but had planned on getting a c-section anyway and plans on getting c-sections with any future babies. Sometimes you have a choice and sometimes you don’t but whether you have a c-section or vaginal birth, you still gave birth and neither decision makes you less of a woman or less of a mother. It’s really a shame how some women are putting down other women who have had c-sections. My mom had to have a c-section with both me and my sister.

    http://dogmomchic.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  3. lindsay @ Wild Ginger says

    April 22, 2015 at 9:50 am

    it’s crazy you posted this…well not really since it’s C-Section Awareness…but i JUST read an article the other day that just made me SOOO frustrated. She was a doula and said that we were depriving our children of the respiratory and bacterial natural greatness if we have them C-section. My husband had to sit there and hear my rant because he was the closest ear *sorry dear*. Well..If I would have done it naturally, i would have deprived my child of LIFE and a MOTHER (pre-eclampisa) What i would give to remove mom to mom judgement. {we would have a lot less to blog about, but} Moms have super powers, and as a team we could change the world…instead we just keep telling each we could do it better. I salute you TEAM MATE!

    Reply

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