My husband shared this post with me this morning, and mentioned that he hoped I would be as inspired by it as he was. I think he had to say that, since it was written by the co-founder of his company, but that’s beside the point.

The truth is this post didn’t technically inspire me, but it did provide some affirmation. Parenthood is nothing like I expected. I guess that makes sense, because I couldn’t envision being a mother when I was pregnant and now I can’t put the experience into words.

Half of my time is spent genuinely enjoying the company of my daughter, and the other half is spent counting down the minutes until bedtime. As the author said, “that one percent makes all the difference.”

It truly does.

Today I was texting with a dear friend who recently announced she is pregnant with her first baby, and she made the comment that parenting “seems so daunting and doable at the same time.” At that moment I agreed with her. Parenting is totally doable…

…and then my jeans fell victim to my daughter’s near daily poop explosion.

So, for today’s Five on Friday, I’m giving parenting advice.

Kidding.

I, with my 6 months of experience, have no advice for you. I don’t know what I’m doing most days, but I’m a pretty good actress (like, Oscar-worthy). Instead, I’ll share something I do know about – my epic parenting fails.

1.

I let my daughter watch TV… at 6 months old. And I don’t feel any shame. In fact, we have found a video on YouTube that plays the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse intro FIVE TIMES in a row.

I’ve actually considered writing the person who posted it and thanking them.

I routinely Chromecast it to my TV, sit her in her high chair, and let her geek out so I can eat/shower/pee… you know. The basics.

 

2.

During our home renovation, Dorothy and I stayed with my parents for over a week. It was nearly 80* when we left, so I packed her nothing but t-shirts and leggings. I think I even packed shorts.

Now, I have lived in Indiana my entire life. I know better than to leave my home without checking the weather.

My poor mother actually had to take Dot out to buy a coat because it SNOWED a few days later.

Mom of the Year right here.

 

3.

This week, Dorothy passed out for the night before 7 p.m. (otherwise know as our worst nightmare). I didn’t even have the chance to give her a bath or put her in pajamas. I tried to wake her up, I promise. The kid was tired.

So she slept all night in a onesie covered in sweet potatoes.

Great.

 

4.

We had dinner with my brother-in-law and his husband on Easter Sunday. Dorothy was happy as a clam. She was flirting with her uncles, smiling, talking… and generally just being a show off.

Courtny is in the process of having several dental procedures performed, and at dinner he explained to us that he was planning to get a gold crown for his tooth because it is cheaper.

That was the first I had heard of this plan.

I was so stunned that I may have looked away from my daughter for a nanosecond (to picture my husband as a pirate, of course). At the same moment, she thought it was a good time to face plant into the picnic table.

I blame Captain Cotten.

 

5.

I routinely dress Dorothy in clothes that are too small on her. Partially because her pant size changes on the daily, and partially because I’m too lazy to switch out her drawers.

Good thing I’m going to Indy’s Whale of a Sale Children’s Consignment Event next week. We need shorts and 9 month leggings like no one’s business.

You should join me.

There are still a few days to enter to win pre-sale tickets! If you’ve already entered, don’t forget to check out Cotten Tales on Facebook on Monday to see if you’re a winner!

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Now, I know I’m not the only one who sometimes fails as a parent. Let’s hear your best stories!