Thoughts from my bathtub…

I recently had a moment of clarity. Perhaps it’s the crisp country air, or maybe it’s the watercolor sunsets that appear over our home on the nightly, but something about this small town has given my mind some peace.

Some quiet.

Some satisfaction.

I’ll be perfectly honest with you, and say that I was not 100 percent on board with our move. I’ve regretted saying to my husband, “Maybe we should call our REALTOR,” about a billion times since July. I didn’t want to leave. I cried myself to sleep more times than I can recall simply because I was in love with our home. I’m crying now, just reminiscing. I was not prepared for the day our house sold. I was not ready to leave our friends, and our life, behind.

I’ve harbored those negative feelings for months now as we’ve moved through the selling and buying processes. Even after we gained possession of our new home last week, I was still unsure of this step our family was taking. I didn’t feel like anyone, or anything, was telling me that this was the right direction.

Until this weekend.

It occurred to me that I haven’t been entirely true to myself, and much of my effort had gone to pleasing the wrong people. I’ve realized that the best I can be is MYSELF. Really, isn’t that the best any of us can do? I had been so focused on moving away from my “friends” that I forgot why we decided to do this to begin with. What matters most in my life has suddenly become so blatant, that I’m embarrassed I didn’t see if before.

So what if not everyone likes me?

So what if I stand up for what I believe in, even when it’s not the popular opinion?

I have a wonderful marriage to a man who loves me for everything that I am, and everything I lack. I have a beautiful daughter who completes my very soul. My families support me at every turn. I have a true handful of friends who value my friendship enough to forget about the 60 minute drive between us. The last several days have shown me exactly what I have to be thankful for – the life God has blessed me with – and I can’t figure out why I was so hesitant before.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m here, with my little Cotten Clan, and we are all healthy and loved. I’m moving on from our previous life, both physically and emotionally. I’m letting go of the former hustle and bustle, the drama, and I’m completely happy about where my life is taking me. Who matters surrounds me – and that thought is simply liberating.

I’m just being me. But the unfollow button has never felt so good.