I’m a hot mess

I read a lot of different kinds of blogs. Mommy blogs, fashion blogs, DIY blogs, lifestyle blogs and even the occasional fitness blog (just to feel like I work out) – I follow all kinds.

The only problem with being well-versed with the blogosphere is I begin to believe that everyone but me has their ish together. Blogs make it appear that children are always color coordinated. They make you believe that you’re not doing enough if you aren’t scheduling play dates, or picking organic strawberries, or taking super artsy photos of your super exciting everyday life.

My amateur blogger opinion? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

You’re right, bestie. I definitely don’t claim to have it all together. In fact, I’ll honestly admit that I’m a hot freaking mess.

Have you raced your 8 month old to a pile of cat vomit lately? I have.

Please tell me that you have found your newly mobile kid chewing on an extremely disgusting cat toy recently? No? Just me? What about a leaf?

Well, have you ever felt like it was safe to leave the diaper bag in the car while you ran in Target for seriously just ONE THING, only to have your kid start puking on the cart, herself and you? Thankfully a cashier took pity on me and gave me some paper towel. Bless you, woman.

How about going shopping with your girlfriend and forgetting the stroller entirely? Yep.

Actually, have you even been shopping with a stroller lately anyway? Let me tell you – no mall is stroller-friendly. Apologies to the guy who let me jump him in line at Starbucks after I ran over his foot. That happened.

Oh and how about walking outside to get the mail, only to find the door of your mailbox has completely fallen off?

I should mention that I’ve been washing the same load of laundry for three days now.

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So… that’s been my week so far.

You’re welcome, everyone. You can claim that you follow a completely realistic blogger who most definitely does not have her ish together.

Now I’m off to join my crying daughter in her room since she quite obviously does not want to nap today. I’m taking a bottle… of vino for me, of course.