If your birthday occurs in the last half of the month of December, you are a part of a very exclusive (read: unfortunate) club. You are, and will forever be known as, a Christmas baby.
I happen to be a member of this club.
I believe the closer your birthday falls to the 25th, the more slighted you are. I say that because my birthday is only one day removed. Trust me, being only three hours away from sharing a birthday with Jesus is not all that it’s cracked up to be.
This is why I have taken after my grandma. I celebrate birfday month.
Yeah. that’s all I have. My birthday kind of sucks.
As a spokesperson of this Christmas Baby Club I just created, there are a few rules that we feel that all people with birthdays in the previous 11 months of the year need to remember. Just follow this advice, and we’ll be less bitter that you all got to have pool parties (or parties at all) when you were a kid:
1. Never combine birthday and Christmas gifts. Just don’t do it, and we’ll let you live to see the new year.
2. Never, NEVER, use Christmas wrapping paper on a birthday gift. If you do, prepare to see snowmen in July.
3. If possible, take down the Christmas tree. My mom was always awesome about taking down our Christmas tree on the morning of my birthday (because it wasn’t Christmas anymore, duh.). However, this year I think our family tree may stay up until Valentine’s day…
4. Remember that the closer the CBC member’s birthday is to Christmas day, the less likely it is that they ever had a birthday party with their friends when they were kids. Sometimes it’s nice to be awesome and have a surprise party for these people.
5. Let us celebrate birfday month. I will use my birthday as an excuse for an entire 30 days with no shame. Don’t fight it. (And let us say “birfday” because it’s fun).
6. Volunteer to take first shift with the baby…. Oops. That only applies to me. Hint…hint…
So, to all my fellow CBC members, happy birthday. I’ll be having my traditional jumbo margarita in celebration.