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Bittersweet Birthday

Family

12 Sep

I have been thinking about this post for weeks.

I would like to say that I have the perfect words to express myself on this bittersweet day, but the reality is that I have started and deleted this post at least 10 times now. Nothing about this blog will be easy.

Today would be my father-in-law’s 48th birthday.

Tony and Courtny

This is one of my favorite photos of Courtny and his dad.

Instead, today is just another challenging day for the Cotten family as we remember a husband, father and papaw who left this Earth far too early.

Tony did everything he could possibly do to win at all things in his life. In fact, I still refuse to play board games with the Cotten men because of their intense, over-the-top game play (read: cheating). There may have also been a Thanksgiving in which we all learned that Trivial Pursuit + whiskey-induced smack talk = not good.

So when Tony was diagnosed with Stage IV Biliary Cancer in June 2012, it was no surprise that he reacted in typical Cotten fashion. 

He fought the diagnosis.

He fought the prognosis.

He fought doctors in three states until he found the best-of-the-best for his care.

He fought the disease through chemotherapy treatments, alternative medicines, meditation and prayer.

He was going to beat this.

Courtny and Tony spent many days over the next 11 months determining the best strategy for a victory, but they also made every day together count. They played an ungodly number of hours on the PS3, they saw DEVO in concert from fancy box seats at the Palladium, and they made a point to talk to each other every day – even if it was just bantering about their fantasy football teams.

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I think I can speak for the entire family when I say that May 9, 2013 was by far the most difficult day of our entire lives thus far. Tony ultimately lost his fight, but he left us all with a valuable life lesson:

“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.”

Tomorrow is never guaranteed, and it is ever so important to live without regrets. It may be cliché, but I cannot stress this enough. A year ago did I ever think that Tony wouldn’t be around to meet his first Cotten grandchild? Absolutely not.

Now that I’ve fumbled through this post (Tony the newspaper publisher is surely laughing at me right now), I think I will celebrate Tony’s birthday in a way he would appreciate – with pizza and (bad) 80’s music.

Happy birthday, Tony. We miss you.

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Comments

  1. Kristin says

    September 12, 2013 at 10:09 am

    Beautifully written! I am thinking about you, Courtny, and the rest of the Cotten clan today and sending love.

    Reply
  2. Courtny Cotten says

    September 12, 2013 at 11:25 am

    I believe Dad would be proud of everyone that has journeyed through this and how strong they have been. Splintering or disbanding the family would have been the worst possible situation. But all members have rallied together and our bonds made stronger by this experience.

    Reply
  3. Ginger Truitt says

    September 12, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    This is beautiful! Tony the newspaper publisher would be very proud. I miss him every day, and the amazing influence he had in my life. I can only imagine how much his presence is missed within the family. Much love going out and prayers going up for you all!

    Reply
  4. Sandi Vogt says

    September 12, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    This is beautiful. I wished Tony a Happy Birthday today and thought about all the great memories, some of our stubborn vs more stubborn arguments and fights, and even more about how very much he loved each and every one of you and how excited he was about the next generation on the way. I know he is up there smiling at all of us and making sure to keep an extra watchful and protective eye on all of you.

    Reply
  5. Charlene Faris says

    September 12, 2013 at 7:03 pm

    Is soooo very sad and unbelievable. God bless his entire family.

    Reply
  6. Joseph Cotten says

    September 12, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    Great post. I feel like I know him, and can therefore mourn the loss with you all.

    Thanks for posting this.

    Reply

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Hey there, I'm Samantha. Recovering SAHM, and aspiring competitive dance mom. I have a passion for travel, am known to say it like it is, and I most certainly do not have it all together. Currently on a journey toward self love and discovery. Join me. 2021 | Bloom

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Call it cliche, but I have a word to live by this year. If I'm being honest, it actually means a lot to me. I even have some semblance of "resolutions," which are really just mantras I plan to manifest into reality... and so far I think it's working.

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L: 12/26/2019, aka my 32nd birthday R: 01/08/2021, L: 12/26/2019, aka my 32nd birthday
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My husband took that first photo. He was being nice, and trying to celebrate my birthday. I never told him I hated it. I looked heavy, because I was. My skin was terrible - red, broken out, etc. I was anxious, and stressed (ha! The days before 2020!), and it very obviously showed.

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NEW POST: What I've Found in the Dark Call it cli NEW POST: What I've Found in the Dark

Call it cliche, but I have a word to live by this year. If I'm being honest, it actually means a lot to me. I even have some semblance of "resolutions," which are really just mantras I plan to manifest into reality... and so far I think it's working.

What's your word for 2021? What are your goals, mantras, or resolutions for this year? Let me know in the comments. 🌸 Link in bio.

#cottentales #lifestyleblogger #mommyblogger #travelblogger #newyear #2021 #quitlikeawoman #momofgirls #blogger #bloggersofinstagram #momsofinstagram #bloom #bloomwhereyouareplanted #peloton #pelotonbike #resolutions #mantra #healthyhabits #newpost #blogging
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R: 01/08/2021, or today. 

My husband took that first photo. He was being nice, and trying to celebrate my birthday. I never told him I hated it. I looked heavy, because I was. My skin was terrible - red, broken out, etc. I was anxious, and stressed (ha! The days before 2020!), and it very obviously showed.

Today I’m in the best shape since high school, which blows my mind. I am actively working every day on my skincare, my mental health, and my reactions. Do I mess up? All the time. This week even, I made major mistakes that affect more than just myself. It’s a constant work, but it’s worth doing. 

I see growth. I see a woman who is starting to feel uncomfortable, and that’s a good thing. Whatever goals you have, or path you’re attempting to journey this year, keep going. Don’t let setbacks end your fight. You can do this. 💪🏻

(Also, both daughters saw me make this image this morning. Both thought I was pregnant in the photo on the left. I definitely was not.😳)

#selflove #selfcare #weightlossjourney #weightlosstransformation #peloton #pelotonmoms #cottentales #blogger #lifestyleblogger #travelblogger #momsofinstagram #momofgirls #bloom #keepgoing #pelotonweightloss #loveyourself
Two years ago, Santa followed us to Eleuthera. Las Two years ago, Santa followed us to Eleuthera. Last year, we danced our way to 2020 on the island. Christmas just doesn’t feel the same this year without the ocean. 🌊

#whitesandchristmas #eleuthera #eleutherabahamas #bahamas #christmas #ocean #momofgirls #mommyblog #lifestyleblog #travelblogger #cottentales
Mentally, I’m here. 🌊 #eleuthera #bahamas # Mentally, I’m here. 🌊 

#eleuthera #bahamas #travelblogger #lifestyleblogger #momblogger #cottentales #travel #nye2019
This is 100 @onepeloton rides vs. 178. This is 159 This is 100 @onepeloton rides vs. 178. This is 159 lbs. vs. 129 lbs. This is broken and lost vs. strong and healing. 

I was so proud of myself in that first photo, and I’m still proud of that Samantha. Steps to a better you will slowly become strides. Thanks to her, now I’m taking flight. ❤️ #selflove #selfcare #peloton #weightlossjourney #weightlosstransformation #pelotonweightloss #pelotonmom #momofgirls #lifestyleblogger #momsofinstagram #momblogger #loveyourself #cottentales
NEW POST: Rebranding Samantha I’m focusing a lo NEW POST: Rebranding Samantha

I’m focusing a lot of effort on self love and self discovery right now. But, just how am I perceived by the people around me? Audience determines your brand - what qualities are you projecting, and do they match how you want to be seen? Link in bio. 

#cottentales #personalbranding #rebranding #blogger #lifestyleblogger #mommyblogger #momofgirls #selflove #selfdiscovery #momblogger #travelblogger
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Have courage, and be kind. ✨ #waltdisneyworld # Have courage, and be kind. ✨

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